Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Response to comments on previous post

I am impressed and slightly overwhelmed, I went from 0 responses yesterday to 7 today. I will do my best to address all the issues raised here.
@Dr Snark
Firstly, please keep sarcastic insulting off of my blog, it isn't useful in debate, it can create hostilities which I am attempting to end.
"Right, but we're all 'potential rapists'. Ever stop to think of the damage these kind of stereotypes cause? The damage that this kind of HATE causes to innocent people's lives?"
Well the issue is that i don't believe it is a stereotype, it is self evident that all humans have the potential to do things such as rape and murder. I as a feminist and a female am also putting myself within this category. I do not seek to dehumanise you or anyone else, of course people who have morals (generally) do not engage in such behaviours and I have nothing but respect for moral people.
You seem to be unable to view my blog in an objective light that would actually encourage thought and you are taking out your hate and anger on me when it is unfounded to do so. If you can find studies to show that men and women are not all potential rapists I would be interested in that reading, but as it stands you object to my statement based on personal offense (which was not intended).
If by the harm done by such stereotypes is the radical feminists putting it out as fact without adding women into the statement then yes I agree with you, and is in fact the point I was making.

I am sadly ignorant on these kind of issues (I have been doing some study into it recently but it is still very rudimentary). If you could point me in the direction of articles which could cure me of the affliction of ignorance I would appreciate it.
I will put forth my own thoughts on the matter though, purely speculating. To begin with I don't like the laws which give mothers an advantage in court proceedings, I would like to see that become more equal. I am very concerned with the happiness of both men and women within our society.
On the health side, in Australia we have a month dedicated to prostate cancer and male depression called "movember". I think that it is a good start, I know men have more issues seeking medical help (in particular for depression) then women due to gender stereotypes and roles. Part of my desire is to minimise the impact of gender stereotypes on both men and women.
In regards to my anti-monogamy views, it ties in with my view against marriage. When I speak about poly relationships I don't mean backward mormon ideals that allow a man to have many wives but prevent a woman from having many husbands, of course that is oppressive. I mean I support the right of people to have many sexual or emotional relationships and be protected by law. As it stands the best way of moving towards this more free society would be to dissolve the institution of marriage.
My experience of poly as it stands is limited, however I am in a relationship where both myself and my boyfriend are free to pursue sexual relations outside of the relationship.

I have thought long and hard about religion and its influence over my life and the life of others. It isn't a choice I came to suddenly based on my dislike of religious dogma. There was a time when I used to sit in silence and listen to christians tell me that I am evil because i sleep with members of the same sex and practise sex before marriage and other such things. Today however I do so less and there are a couple of reasons for this, I didn't just decide to discount religion entirely one day.
Firstly, I have never encountered anyone who believes everything in the bible (eg execution of adulterers and homosexuals) as such I am forced to view the parts of the bible they do believe in as part of personal bias rather then part of a definitive religious text.
I of course recognise that everyone has their own sets of bias, including myself, but I seek to neutralise bias in discussion, both in myself and others.
Secondly, I view religion as a type of oppression, where I support people living what lifestyle they think promotes their own individual happiness, such as living monogamous lives due to religion our other lifestyle choices, christians with the influence of the bible seek to force a way of living upon me, which I think limits the freedoms I should have.
Thirdly if the bible was viewed as it is, a text written 2000 years ago, it would aid my feminist ideals as societal values and norms of 2000 years ago are hardly going to be seen to be aplicable now.

I don't support an anti-monogamist state, I support a pro poly state. I oppose monogamy only as it stands now as an enforced way of life by the government and such institutions as marriage. As I said previously I support people living in monogamy if that is the way they find happiness.
I plan to co-exist with pro-monogamists by accepting their right to have control over their own sexual life but opposing their right to have control over mine. I shall as I do now, pursue a life that maximises happiness for myself in a moral way.


  1. Hmmm.

    I guess that I do not so much object to feminism - as it seems that "feminist" and "feminism" are really labels more than anything else THESE DAYS.

    However, I do object to the damage that feminism has done by spreading lies to people over the last 50 or so years. I also object to what I like to call the "deeply rooted contempt for men" in our society.

    You can browse my list here:


    I would be really interested in hearing what somebody like you thinks about those items.

    There are feed-back links all over my web-site.

  2. Thank you scarecrow, this kind of communication is what I am looking for.

  3. The anti-monogamy thing is interesting to me. Personal freedom expressed in a sexual manner isn't a new idea it just has worked out very poorly in the past. For example parts Ancient Greece they had to limit people to one sexual partner due to rampant STDs. Also it is hard to keep men interested in taking care of children that aren't theirs. Not all men, just as a general rule. With modern medicine these could be argued to become null points but the fact that marriage is a universal constant in all cultures says something about its importance in a working society.

    With that I'm well aware of different marriage styles. So I ask you, are you the sort of person who would want to eventually have anti-monogamy everywhere? (side note I'm going to say free-relationships from now on to make this less confusing for myself) Parts of Nepal a woman would marry a family of brothers. This insured that the land would stay in the family and acted as population control for a place that didn't have the resources to support a massive population. What are your thoughts on this? Can I assume you when you speak of "free-relationships" you mean in a certain cultural demographic? Also please explain how this will help our society. Not make individuals "happier" but help society. Happy individuals have a tendency to be self destructive.

    Also do you realize the irony in asking some one named "Snark" to not be sarcastic?

  4. I am glad to hear you have such egalitarian views, FOTC.

    If you want to learn about men's issues, I suggest visit http://glennsacks.com/blog
    It is one of the most respectable and even handed men's blogs I follow. It covers the whole gauntlet of issues I mentioned, with lots of focus on the family court (something I think needs to be done away with), including when it wrongs women.

    Also, I would just like to (non-militarily) salute your country for Movember. I put its banner on my website last year and I would love to see something similar here in the US.
    Technically, September is 'Prostate Cancer Awareness Month', but it doesn't get a tenth of the attention October does as 'Breast Cancer Awareness Month'.

    Carry on!

  5. @ incurable sanity

    Thank you for commenting here, you raise several issues that have given me pause while I gather my thoughts. I don't claim I have all the answers figured out (part of why I made this blog) but I will attempt to answer some of the queries you put forward. Keep in mind these may not be adopted by me as moral values to be pursued, as I am merely speculating at this stage.

    I do want pro poly to be a part of society everywhere, but don't really see this ever happening. Of course there are limits on the freedoms of sexual expression I am referring to. For example I want to keep the current laws regarding children as inappropriate sexual partners.

    I object to incestuous sexual relationships on the grounds of negative health impacts on the potential child, however if this can be avoided, I don't see any issue with it.

    "Happy individuals have a tendency to be self destructive. "

    This is a rather extreme statement to me, I was always under the impression that happier people were less self destructive, at least that has been my experience. Can you point me in the direction of some support of this claim?

    @ Beardreel

    Thank you, I appreciate some coolheaded appreciation of my views, I work hard at keeping them fair and reflect on these such issues alot. Thank you also for the link, please feel free to post any other links that you think may be informative for me or others reading this blog.

    Yes I am very pleased with the existence of movember, I have several male friends that are involved in it annually. There is even a restaurant here that gives out free burgers to those supporting movember. It is pretty amazing.

    It is disappointing to learn this isn't echoed overseas, what efforts are going into remedying this?